Daily Steals

Look out, it’s Bonus Man!
Screams engulf the entire area as the courtyard outside the mall is thrown into a panic. Joe, who had come to eat some bourbon chicken and browse the shops for some small trinkets, looks on at the scene with confusion, unsure whether to run or not.

“RUN!” yells one person heading past him to the parking lot.

“Wait!” Joe retorts. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Bonus Man, you have to get out of here!” she says back quickly, turning around to run.

As Joe begins to contemplate the idea of Bonus Man, something he had never heard of before, the man himself surfaces and tackles him.

“IF YOU BUY THIS DELL 755 DESKTOP COMPUTER RIGHT NOW I’LL GIVE YOU A GREAT DEAL ON AN EXTENDED WARRANTY! DO YOU WANT BOURBON CHICKEN? JUST SIGN UP FOR MY EXCLUSIVE MAILING LIST AND YOU CAN GET HALF OFF YOUR NEXT PURCHASE OF BOURBON CHICKEN!”

(Later that day)

“Doctor, is he going to be OK?” says Joe’s mother, standing teary-eyed by his hospital bed.

“It’s hard to say,” the doctor replies. “In five minutes your son was barraged with more bonuses than most people see in their entire lifetime. Even if he does regain consciousness, the mere prospect of a bonus could spark a relapse. I wouldn’t be surprised if he develops agoraphobia as a result of this.”

“What do we do about this Dell computer?” she says, pointing to the computer sitting on the floor next to the bed.

“Well, the computer is probably fine, but you should probably hide the extended warranty from him.”

---

Condition: Factory Recertified
Packaging: Box
Warranty: 90 Day
Brand: Dell
Model: 755

Product Features:
•    1.6GHz Pentium Dual Core Processor E2140
•    2GB RAM
•    80GB hard drive
•    CDRW/DVD drive
•    ATI Radeon HD 2400XT graphics card (dual VGA or DVI out)
•    8 USB 2.0 ports (2 front, 6 back)
•    2 PCI slots
•    1 PCIe x16 slot
•    4 SATA
•    Windows XP Professional with COA

What You Get:
•    Dell Optiplex 755 Desktop
•    Keyboard
•    Mouse
•    Power Cable
•    Restore Disc