Daily Steals

You need to go faster! FASTER!
I wasn't sure if I would have rather fight him or hire him as a motivation coach, but my window to make that choice closed long ago; I did neither. It was about a year ago that I last saw Stumpy Staples and there was indication that I would ever see him again. Still, I could never forget him, no matter how hard I tried.

Our meeting seemed based on chance, but I can't say I know anything about Stumpy Staples for sure anymore. My initial suspicions on his name have since resurfaced.

“Is that your real name?” I asked during our introduction.

“Sure is!”

At the time, that was good enough for me. We met during a temporary job that lasted only a weekend, but he made a lasting impact that kept us in touch.

“Hey,” he called to me on that fateful day. “You want a UPEK TrueMe USB Secure Fingerprint Reader?”

“Whoa, really?” I replied. It seemed ridiculous that someone would just give one of those to me.

“OK, you gotta go fast.”

“What?”

“You gotta go fast.”

“I heard you the first time, what does that mean?”

“When you go fast, I'll give you the TrueMe.

That was really puzzling, but since I really wanted the TrueMe I went along with it. There was a telephone pole in the distance so I sprinted to it and back.

“You gotta go faster than that,” he told me. I repeated my sprint to the same answer.

Confused, I started thinking outside the box and hopped in my car.

“Nope, still not fast enough.”

At that point it was getting late and I needed to return home. We said our goodbyes but I couldn't take my mind off the deal. Go faster? What did he mean by that? Exactly how fast was I supposed to go?

Eventually this festered into a complete obsession. From sprinting to a car was just the beginning. Over the next few months I drove formula one cars, motorcycles, a 747, an F-15, a space shuttle...the list goes on. I spent almost an entire month away from home tracking down an extraterrestrial vehicle that could break 25,000 miles per hour. Finally, after nearly an entire year, I utilized a time rift to actually travel forward in time to cut him off.

“You gotta go,” was all he could get out before I was right in front of his face saying, “Beat ya!”

His face told me that the day had finally come. After all that agonizing work I was going to get a TrueMe. I could barely contain my excitement as he reluctantly handed over a box. I opened it and looked inside.

“Hey wait a minute,” I said aloud, pushing the box closer to my face. “This isn't a TrueMe at all!”

When I looked up, Stumpy Staples was gone.

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Condition: New
Packaging: Hassle-Free
Warranty: 1 Year
Brand: UPEK TrueMe
Model: TCRE3C

Product Features:
•    Fingerprint reader replaces need for passwords
•    VPN secure network
•    Increase security of static passwords
•    Protect encrypted data
•    Secure privacy
•    Accurate reader protects from imposters
•    Tamper resistant
•    Durable construction
•    Seamlessly integrates with UPEK software (sold separately)
•    20cm/sec acquisition speed
•    248x4 pixel array size
•    Use fingerprint to log on to favorite websites
•    Assign different fingers to different functions

What You Get:
•    UPEK TrueMe Fingerprint Scanner