Daily Steals

So I have this…friend…
I’ve known him my entire life, but as of late he has become a raging alcoholic. He isn’t shy about the fact, either. He has been arrested on numerous occasions, each time yelling belligerently, “I thought this was America!” It’s embarrassing at times.

Since this had been going on for a good while at this point, I feel the time that I could be inactive in the situation had passed; I had to do something. The way he has been living his life, no one can go on like that. I decided I would purchase the Retractable Corkscrew Wine Opener for him.

“Here,” I said upon presenting it to him. “I can no longer sit idly by while your horrendous alcoholism forces you to spend half an hour trying to open a wine bottle with your teeth. You have a problem, but I want you to know I’m here to help. Take this corkscrew and please stop opening beer bottles and wine bottles with your teeth. This is a disease that we can stop together, one bottle at a time.”

Product Features:
Durable construction
Retractable
Stainless steel
Foil cutter
Bottle cap opener
Corkscrew
Portable

What You Get:
2 Retractable Corkscrew Wine Openers

New Hassle-Free Packaging
1 Year Warranty