Daily Steals

You know what really gets my blood going?
One of these days I'm going to get mayonnaise back for what it did to me. Which, for the most part, is nothing, but that isn't the point. Mayonnaise is without a doubt the most vile substance ever created...and people eat this awful concoction. My problem is that mayonnaise ruins absolutely anything it touches for me, and it's on SO MANY THINGS.

That's the part that kills me. Why do so many places like to put mayonnaise on sandwiches or hamburgers or, in some parts of the world, pizza and vegetables? It's disgusting. I don't want to get into a debate about it because it wouldn't be worth your time. The whole debate is just centered around the phrase, “you're wrong,” unless you agree with me about mayonnaise, in which case we wouldn't be debating in the first place.

So anyway, I get incredibly mad whenever something is given to me with mayonnaise on it. One time I actually beat up a stranger working at Subway because I asked him not to put mayonnaise on my sandwich and he did. When I asked why he ignored my request, he said, “it'll taste better this way, I promise.” I beat him to within an inch of his life.

When I got out of prison I realized that I needed something to help me with this strong aversion to mayonnaise. I finally found the Citizen CH606 Digital Wrist Blood Pressure Monitor. Now I could at least warn everyone around that I was about to lay down a savage beating. It gave people time to run away, which I guess is a good thing. It didn't change how I felt about mayonnaise, I just know when I'm really super pissed about it.

Product Features:
Time, day and date functions
One touch automatic operation
Easy to put on preformed cuff
Memory recall function
Pressure: 0~300mmHg
Pulse: 40~199beat/min

What You Get:
Citizen CH606 Digital Wrist Blood Pressure Monitor

New Retail Packaging
1 Year Warranty