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Monday, October 15, 2012

Fall is here - Are you ready?

Beards, Beards and Beards

 

 

Fall has arrived at the Daily Steals offices. The Keurig is getting more and more traffic, the coat racks are beginning to strain under all the wool, and an aroma of spices and pumpkin seems to be gently emanating from the walls. (Either that or someone's desert caught fire in the toaster oven again.) As we labor each day to find and expose the greatest deals from the furthest reaches of the web, these are the crucial fall items we use to make sure our chakras are seasonally aligned.

 

ESSENTIAL FALL GEAR

1. Picnic equipment. But picnics are for summer, you say? Nonsense! Fold up a blanket, pack a basket with cheese, fruit, and bread, and fill a thermos with coffee for a leisurely afternoon in the park. Drop by the Heist and pick up some awesome Hampton Forge cutlery and flatware for high quality (and high fashion) picnic utensils. Or, for the more adventurous, drag your Smokey Joe down to the park and have yourself a cookout. It really will just be for yourself, though, since no sane person wants to stand around in the chill eating Ruffles and waiting for a burnt hamburger.

 

2. Beards. Though only half of us can grow them (and of that half, only about a third can do it well), a full, rich beard is imperative for seasonal style and facial warmth. For now we're keeping them well-trimmed, but come winter these goatees will blossom like cold-weather squash into beards of Rumpelstiltskin-esque proportions.

 

3. George Foreman grills. Not up to a picnic? Lacking a properly vital beard? No sweat. Snatch a grill from the Heist have your own lil-becue from the comfort of your kitchen. Cook up a quesadilla, put on a scarf, and if you close your eyes, it's almost like you're outside. Almost.

 

4. A Camera. Everyone who has ever heard the word “foliage” or seen a single leaf fall out of a tree knows that fall is, if not the most beautiful, then certainly the most photogenic season. Besides that, photographic evidence is the only way to prove to other people that your life is measurably prettier – and therefore more exciting, fulfilling, and all-around better – than theirs is. Whether you're Instagramming cell phone flicks, working your point-and-shoot Nikon, or rocking out with a nifty DSLR from the last Daily Steals Heist, documenting the non-stop amazing happening around you is simply not optional.

 

5. Gloves. That most auxiliary item of cold-weather clothing can make all the difference on a cold walk to the train station or neighbor's house. Sure, leather is chic, but we prefer the warmth and portable-hug quality of good old-fashioned wool mittens. Pro tip: get the kind that fold down into fingerless gloves for extra railway-bum fashion points.

 

6. Stew. There's a certain kind of cold that occurs only in October and November when unseasonally mild weeks are interrupted by a cold snap sharp enough to take off a limb. No one's prepared – you haven't unpacked your long johns yet, no one closed the windows before bed last night, and even the car's power steering feels grumpy and cold when it starts up. And that's why somebody invented stew. It's the world's heartiest meal, and it's best when served so unbelievably hot it causes permanent damage to the roof of your mouth and tongue.

According to physics, it is impossible to simultaneously eat stew and be cold.

 

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